


A Rose For Us

by elwynclark



Category: The Walking Dead (Comics), The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: AU, F/M, Genderswap, genderswap AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-11
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-08-14 09:34:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8008306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elwynclark/pseuds/elwynclark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometime on the road to safety, Darlina and Charlie find surviving isn't a one person job anymore. </p><p>Genderswap fic, Daryl-Darlina, Carol-Charlie, Merle-Merlene, all other characters the same as canon unless noted. From Daryl's POV, unless otherwise noted. </p><p>A series of one-shots loosely organized in the show's timeline.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lessons

**Author's Note:**

> Setting- Sometime after the fall of the Greene farm and before the prison became home.

"You know how to hold this?" I asked slowly handing a small revolver to Charlie. He smirked taking it from my hand and nodded.

"I'm not that much of an idiot." He muttered and trained it a the tree ahead of us I had just shot a bolt into.

"Take your finger off the trigger." I said and pulled at my quiver, over my shoulder, which was digging into my back.

"But I'm gonna shoot, that's what we're doing right?" He asked and I nodded, then shook my head. "Darlina, what am I doing wrong then?"

"Here," I said and reached out to move his finger off the trigger, right above it instead. My fingernails were caked with black dirt, and the same dirt streaked up both of my arms to my shoulders. Charlie's hands had some dirt on them, but not much. "Don't put yer finger on the trigger, unless yer pullin' it. For everythin."

"Really? Ain't like that in the movies." He closed one eye and tried to aim it again and I scoffed.

"Well this ain't a fucken movie." I watched him from behind as he pulled the trigger. It clicked.

"Seriously missy?" He looked back at me and handed it over. I snickered and took it from him.

"Yeah seriously, and don call me missy. I already told ya that." I flicked the revolver open and stuck my other hand into one of my vest pockets and started grabbing the bullets.

"How come you let me call you Darlina then?" I snorted and loaded the gun swiftly.

"My pa called me that when I was little, and swore off a anyone callin me that anymore. Went by Daryl to everyone. Even Merle."

"Cept me?" I rolled my eyes then clicked the gun closed and spun the chamber.

"Yer too sweet. Aint like my pa at all." I handed him the loaded gun now. "Everyone thinks I'm too rough to be a Darlina, even though last time I checked I am a girl."

"I know." He shrugged. "Just wanted to hear it from you." He held up the gun again, the right way this time. "Anything else I should know?"

"About me or the gun?" He chuckled and looked back at me. I glared at him as he adjusted his grip with both hands.

"The gun." I took a step closer to him and reached around him to push his arms up. Ever since I met him he's been skin and bones, we all are now since we're starving. Glenn found an untouched store found a few days ago and we all took what we could. Charlie picked a red tank top, and it already looks like it's 10 years old. 

"Look right here to aim," I rested my grubby finger on top of the end of the barrell. "Should be even with right here." I moved it towards the back of the gun and glanced up at his face. His slate slate-blue eyes flicked back and forth between the two spots.

"Ok, I think I got it." He mumbled and I removed my hand. I looked down at my bolt in the tree and back at him, then stood next to him.

"Don't break my bolt now." I warned. He pulled the trigger a split second later. The gunshot rang loud and I glanced around us for movement. The rest of the group would be to us in a few. Told everyone, don't shoot unless you're fucked. We split into a few small groups for scouting. Rick and T, Glenn and Maggie, and me and Charlie. Everyone else stayed back by the road. Mainly cuz Lori can't walk too far.

"Lemme do another." He said and rolled his shoulders back. I grabbed my bow off the ground and strung it quickly as Charlie shot again. I ripped a bolt out of my quiver and slid it into my bow. "Everythin' ok?" I looked at him and then squinted at the tree, trying to see where it landed. One bullet hole in the tree, almost on the edge, the other was nowhere to be found. My bolt was untouched.

"Ya gotta practice Charlie." I shook my head and moved closer towards the tree. I pulled my bolt out of the tree and motioned for him to come closer. "Look at this." I picked at the bullet hole in the tree with my free hand. I placed my crossbow at the base of the tree.

"Daryl." He whispered and I looked back at him. He was standing a few steps away from me now with the gun in one hand.

"Darlina ain't good enough anymore?" I asked then felt something pull on my hair from behind me. "SHIT!" I tried wrestling away from it and reached for my knife but couldn't get it loose. Suddenly a shot rang out, sending me down with it.

I landed on my back, a sickening squish underneath me. My bolts rattled in my quiver as well and the hard plastic pipe dug into my back. I didn't to open my eyes but did slowly and saw Charlie staring back at me. He looked terrified and wouldn't stop staring at me. I tried sitting up but something was caught in my hair and pulled me back down.

"Lemme help." Charlie spit out and leaned over me but I waved him back. I reached for my hunting knife and tried sitting up again. I reached back where my hair was caught and started chopping it off to free myself. I finally heard a drop behind me and I could sit up all the way.

"You shoot it?" I asked and looked down at the walker, it's rotten fist full of my hair. "Charlie, did you shoot it?" I looked back and he nodded furiously and tried handing the gun to me. I pushed it back to him. "Keep it." I started standing up and felt for my quiver behind me. A few bolts fell out and I scooped them back up.

"What about yer hair?" He asked finally and I shrugged. I felt back where I cut it and it wasn't much shorter than everything else.

" 'm alright." I nodded and scratched the back of my head, trying to cover up the now missing part. I grabbed my bow off the ground and started to walk away.


	2. Ghosts We Knew

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Setting- Season 5, "Them"

I've lost count of the days we've been walking around. Stupid fruitless trek to Washington. There ain't gonna be anything there when we get there. If we get there at all. Someone said it's 60 miles out, ain't no way we're making it there at this rate.

Judith's little eyes were just peeking over Rick's shoulder in front of me. I wished like hell I could smile at the little girl but I just looked down. She ain't gonna make it. None of us are.

My crossbow was over my shoulder, digging into my neck on one side. It didn't help either that my hair was stuck to the back of my neck and under my crossbow strap. Someone gave me a machine gun awhile ago, maybe it was Maggie. I barely remember. My left hand brushed by my side and I looked down.

Beth's knife. Stupid fucking girl up and tried to make it right. I shook my head. She was my responsibility, and she's gone. Charlie was hanging onto her knife ever since she died and gave it to me this morning. Musta been this morning. Shit, I can't even remember. Something brushed against my side again and I looked at her knife and my empty blue water bottle. Charlie was pulling his hand away.

"There wasn't anything else you could do Darlina." Charlie whispered. His rifle was slung over his shoulder, he had a pained expression on his face. I sighed and squinted at him.

"Thank you." I moved my hand over the brown sheath and weakly nodded. I took a deep breath and glanced at him again. "Ain't called me that, since the prison."

"Not much time to." He plodded on. The boots that he had looked heavy, probably slowing him down with every step.

"Charlie." Glenn's voice called from behind us and he turned back. I looked back too as Glenn handed Charlie a bottle of water, maybe 3 sips left in it. "You too Daryl." I rolled my eyes and looked forward.

"Hey don't do this." Charlie added and held the bottle to me. I ignored it.

"Come on, we're all in this together. I'm not watching any more of us die." Glenn called again and I walked a little faster to catch up with Rick.

"I'm gonna go ahead a bit, see what I can find." I mumbled to him and he glanced over at me, covering Judith's head with one hand.

"Ok, be safe." He nodded and I held out the machine gun to him. He grabbed it from me and slung it over his shoulder.

"I'm comin' too!" Charlie called and I looked back as he wrestled his gun off his shoulder, holding it in front of him now. I smirked and shook my head.

"Stay, be back soon." I continued to shake my head and Charlie stayed with the group on the road as I walked into the woods.

I don't want anyone to following me, I'm having trouble holding myself together in front of everyone. I haven't been this much of a mess since, Merle. Everyone else in the group is always wanting something from me as well. It's always been down to me to bring something back.

Yesterday Sasha killed a pack of wild dogs. Gunned them down like it was nothin'. She ain't been the same since the big guy died. None of us have. We've all lost someone. Beth was as much my little sis as she was Maggie's actual little sis. Merle always gave me shit, but I know she was only doin' it to help me. I only wanted to do the same for Beth.

I plunked down at the base of a tree and leaned against it. My crossbow was just missing from being crushed behind me. I drew my knees up closer to my chest and pressed my forehead against them.

"Stupid girl. Gettin' herself killed. I coulda gotten her out." I muttered and picked at the strings tied around my ankles, keeping the bottom of my pants from flapping around.

But you didn't.

The voice in my head was familiar but I didn't care. Everything is over anyways. Better to die like she did rather than this slow ass march to hell.

Don't beat yourself up kid.

I dug into my vest pockets, out of the right one was a few split in half cigarettes and the funny piece of jasper I found on a run one day. I slid the jasper back in my pocket along with the cigarettes except one. I tucked that one of the halves in my mouth and reached for my inner pocket and took out my lighter, lighting the one I kept out.

I did the right thing.

My hands were cracked on the edges, dirt under every nail. On my right hand, between the thumb and the index finger was a tattoo of a star. My sister had the same thing on her left hand. I took the cigarette out of my mouth and exhaled then pressed the burning end of it onto the star.

Fucking grow up, Darlina.

My head felt like it was twice it's weight as I looked up. My sister was standing in front of me. Still only one hand, but she wasn't bleeding anywhere or charging at me for her next meal.

"Yer not real." I tried shaking my head but she knelt down and stopped me, grabbing the side of my head gently.

"I know, but yer head ain't screwed on right girl. Someone's gotta fix it, ain't yew." She declared and I stared at her.

"I lost her Merle. Just like I lost you." I dropped the smoldering cigarette and ground it into the dirt with my heel. My hands rubbed my face and I looked up again. She wasn't anywhere to be seen. "Again."

"HELP!" A girl screamed suddenly and my head jolted up. "NO!" She screamed again and I got up quickly. My head was spinning as I tried to get my balance back. I pulled my crossbow off of my back and loaded it with my last bolt. "PLEASE. SOMEONE!"

That's Beth.

I dodged the branch by my shoulder and sprinted between the trees. My chest felt like it was about to collapse I was pushing myself to run so hard. My throat felt like I was swallowing sand instead of air. But no matter how far I ran, the screaming was still the same distance away.

"She's gone, bug." My sister's voice echoed from behind me and I whipped around aiming my bow at her.

"AND SO ARE YEW." I yelled and she just stared at me then shrugged.

"Yer the one yellin' at a ghost." She picked at the duct tape around the end of her prosthetic and I lowered my bow.

"I'm alright." Beth's voice cooed from my right and I turned my head. Her blonde hair was still stained with blood.

"Sure don't look it." I muttered.

"Lookin' real peachy yourself." Merle chuckled and I started backing up from both of them.

"None of this is real, leave me ALONE." My heel caught a branch behind me and I landed on my ass, dropping my crossbow in the process.

"Daryl ain't here to hurt ya!" Beth sighed and I could feel my heart beating fast, not sure if I should be scared or just start bawling my eyes out.

"Yer both gone, ain't anythin' I got anymore! Just get outa here." I swatted my hands to gesture them both away then held onto my head.

The tears started flowing out, a few a first then it wouldn't stop. I closed my eyes tight and tried taking a deep breath. My big sister was haunting me, again. And my little sister was too. Both of their voices bounced around in my head, mixing with my own thoughts.

I didn't ask for this.

Me neither.

Think I fuckin' did?

I didn't want to open my eyes. For the first time in awhile, I was scared. Scared of what was on the other side. I never asked for either of them to die. Lost both of them to their stupid strong willed ness. If they both stayed put, neither of 'em would be dead.

Just stop.

You can't give up.

"DARLINA!" Charlie's voice teared me from my thoughts and I pried my eyes open. He was kneeling in front of me. I was at the same tree I sat down in front of in the first place again. His slate blue eyes pierced into me. I stared at him, unable to form any words. My body was shaking slightly from my little trip still. I noticed his rifle tossed to the side.

"Told ya, to stay." I managed to squeak out finally. He reached out to me slowly and took both of my hands away from the sides of my head.

"I can't just leave ya." He shook his head.

"Can't just leave everyone else."

"Well you can't keep runnin' away and leavin' us! Someone's gonna think you're leaving for good one day!" I stared at him and ripped my hands out of his.

"Cuz yew sure didn't try to do that." I pushed myself off the ground and stood up. He didn't say anything to me. I adjusted my bow on my back and noticed an old shed about 50 yards away, slightly hidden by the trees.

"Daryl," He was picking his rifle up from the ground as I looked back at him.

"Don't. Fucking. Follow me out again." I glared at him then ran my hand over the top of my hair, trying to smooth it back a little. I started to move back through the woods, back to the group. I could hear his light footsteps behind me, they were always light even in those shitkicker boots.

"You saw her again, didn't you?" He asked quietly and I stopped. I nodded quickly and moved my hand to my mouth and started chewing on the edge of my thumb, not caring how dirty it was. "It's ok, I-"

"Saw, Beth too." I cut him off and looked back at him. He threw his rifle over his shoulder and walked closer to me. I stared at him for a second then reached out to him, hugging him tight.

"But you're ok." He mumbled and I buried my face into his shoulder, thankful he was taller than me. One of his hands rested on my back and the other one on the back of my head, lighting rubbing it. I didn't say a word. "Kept feelin' Sophia's little hand in mine everywhere I went for awhile." Tears were rolling down my face, soaking his shirt. "Remember when you found me in the tombs?"

"Mhm." I mumbled and felt my crossbow slip off my shoulder a little.

"I saw her." He said quietly and I opened my eyes, sniffling. "Saw her run sayin, 'Daddy follow me! The monsters!' And so I chased her. Into that closet where you found me."

"She wasn't there Charlie." I mumbled and let go of him finally. He pulled his arms back too.

"I know that now. I hit my head and nothin' made sense but she was there. And she helped me." He held onto the strap of his gun. "Maybe that's all Merle and Beth are tryin' to do too." I nodded after a few seconds.

"Maybe. But sometimes, I just wants dead, to stay dead. For once." I turned slowy and started back towards the road again. The trees started thinning out and a few voices could just be heard.

"Finally." Rick grumbled as he looked at me and Charlie come out of the woods. The entire group was circled around. In the middle of the street was a case of water bottles, untouched. Glenn picked up a piece of paper from it and handed it to Rick.

"What do you think?" Glenn asked as Rick handed it to me.

'From a friend.'


End file.
